King of All Ratings Thread

upcoming Reviews: Chernobyl Diaries, and A good day to die hard.

Ocarina of Time 3D: Master Quest

(I haven't beaten the game completely, But I've beaten OoT enough)

Wow, all I gotta say is this is awesome!! All Zelda games seriously need to be this hard. I havent had this much of a Zelda game challenge with a 3D Zelda since I was little. The dungeons are all changed now with harder puzzles. Some of them are seriously hard too. I keep getting stuck on parts and not to mention the combat is brutally hard. You go through a dungeon then 3 Stalfos will pop up out of nowhere. In the 3D version you take way more damage. A stalfos hits you, thats 4 hearts. (I've also been avoiding getting pieces of heart). An iron knuckle pops up. One swing takes 8 hearts off of me.

9/10 for being the same awesome game, but with harder dungeons/enemies all together.

finally the reviews that i have been pushing off are here! Huza!

A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD I spaced that out on purpose, for as you can no doubt see that title is really fuckin dumb. Now while I am aware that the Die hard series has always been home to rather over the top titles including the original this one just doesn't make sense. Even Bruce Willis him self almost had a stroke trying to come up with a reason as to what this title even means.(unfortunately i couldn't find the video with him attempt to make sense out of the title). Silly title aside I went into this movie hoping for some more restraint than the last one "Live free or Die Hard". About half way through I realized that "Red" must have been really popular apparently popular enough for Bruce willis's character Frank Moses to replace the some what more logical, and practical thinking character of John MaClain. The movie starts off with John MaClain who recently discovers that his estranged son Jake MaClain has been put into a Russian prison. This motivates John to hale ass to Russia to meat up with him and put things in order with his son. I also hopes that this motivates John to seek family counseling seeing how he has a grand total of Three estranged family members, but i digress. After John makes his way to Russia and finds his son, he learns that his son was actually an under cover CIA agent trying to foil a poor mans James bond villains plot too...dooo....whatever it was that the movie never bothered to explain. Ultumetly this movie is nothing more than a big dumb action movie with Bruce willis that some how got the rights to use the name Die hard in its title. The action is way too dumb, the characters are poorly developed and written. Jake even goes about 40 mins into the movie pretty much about daddy not being there. Even though daddy was fighting terrorists 4 Times over the coarse of 20 years! The story is barely functional. Only being used to get the audience from one action scene to the next. Finally the leaps, and bounds of logic the movie takes is just insultingly stupid. While i can give a pass to the indestructible cars. I will never give a pass to the anti radiation flamethrowers the movie uses. Without spoiling anything, the movie does make its way from Moscow to Chernobyl (even though Chernobyl is in the Ukraine, and not Russia)and after some research it has been proven that one can go to the city of Pripyat, and even near the power plant its self, and it is no longer lethal in short bursts even without a radiation suit. BUT the shit this movie pulls would have killed the main characters BIG time. (dont worry they don't go to the power plant, they pull some other shit out of the sleeves)While i do have to admit that the first few action scenes are pretty entertaining they begin to lose there charm rather quickly. In the end the movie is just to fucking dumb even for a big dumb action movie. And with the tv set ups some people have I would say this is still entertaining enough for an at home watch with some friends not the movies. Unless its the Statford movie theater than its always worth the price.

Tldr: Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, But fun enough to watch at home

5/10
Chernobyl diaries should be up later today.

good shit, updated

Chernobyl diaries. (bjbjefiopjfbvpkj spivbPIBSDVPIBPIBPIBIPYFGIEWGFPIgjwhdvuozsduvhboufvnasnvpjbDSPIVNPKAJ
sorry about that i just started thinking about this movie again and lost 4000 iq points.
The story: A bunch of boring people with absolutely no fucking personality take a trip to the Ukraine, and of coarse its most infamous city Pripyat, and in turn Chernobyl, all as a form of EXTREME! tourism. Anyway the boring fucks meet up with some boring Australasian fucks, there tour guide gets goes missing. Of course they are also stupid as well as boring, and in turn though a series of "unfortunate" events find them selves stuck in the city. Again as stated in my previous review the radiation levels are only medically dangerous over a long period of time like a week or a month, depending on your location, and what you are wearing. Your actually more likely to be killed by the wild life or the weather than the radiation. BUT there is a limit of reality breaking that this movie surpasses, and it surpasses it quickly climaxing to one of the stupidest endings i have ever seen in my life. Keep in mind I have seen a ton of shitty, and stupid movies, Like a lot. Even if it wasn't as stupid, its just a badly made movie, but lets get the few good things out of the way first. The acting, while unmemorable wasn't that bad, perhaps a little too one note from every ones performances , but still not that bad. The practical effects are not bad either, they were just not used often enough. Honestly I just cant think of any good thins to say beyond the acting being passable, and that the few practical effects are just okay. The story is terrible, full of plot holes, and even if it was good its just too insulting for me to even recommend it beyond a so bad its good quality. Although the first half might even be too boring for it to even be classified as such movie.

In the end the movie is not just an insult to time, and your intelligence, its just plain insulting to the people who suffered, and are still suffering from the indecent that barely happened 20 years ago. Especially after that ending.

1/10

Movie review: "They Live"

A charming little cult film from the mastermind of cheap, but effective movies John carpenter. (The Thing, Escape from New York, Holloween 1-3)
While this movie is under the moniker of a cult film. It does have the benefit of being a good one.
The story: George Nada, played by Roddy Piper (WWF) is a lone drifter who is hit by hard times and is now scrounging around looking for work in an increasingly greedy, and unfair world. After a police raid on Nada's new home he stumbles upon a pair of sunglasses that reveal the real way works. As well as the disturbing news that something is posing as many people in our society, and are responsible for all the turmoil. Nada then decides that he must save the human race from whatever it is before its too late.
On the surface the movie sounds like a basic action b-movie plot with some sort of message to say. After seeing the movie I can safely say that its more social satire than action b-movie. It wears its message on its selves, and apologetically so, almost to a fault really. I don't mind the fact that it stands by its opinion, and just flat out says that the other side is wrong, but its b-movie sensibilities show up one too many times, and sullies the message. On the other hand if it didn't it would be far too one sided, and a little offensive to actual people with money who worked really hard to get it. So its a little hard to criticize. Not too say there aren't some grevences i have. The acting is nothing special, the editing is weird, its poorly paced in the first half, and even for a john carpenter movie it looks cheap. But the atmosphere is amazing, the satire is still effective, and the story is just awesome.

In the end, the movie has its typical b-movie problems, but if you can look past than than its defiantly worth your time. 7/10

quicker review.
yup, saw Bronson with Cassie on thursday, never thought i would see someone rub Butter on Tom Hardy's bum & balls cause "its me body armor" Although his characters background was still better than Banes, better movie than TDKR too solid 7/10 acting was amazing, kinda bad editing. Acting alone made it worth it.

Well its time I take off the rose colored glasses of fandom, and sit and do a review of one of my favorite properties BERSERK.
OK the show for now, seeing how i dont have a dreacast, the region locked ps2, the card game (that still confuses me as to why that exists), the books are not even half way done (I suppose i could review whats available, but i don't feel like it) And i do not want to pay 300 dollars for a licensed bust of one of the characters so FUCK that. So what this leaves me are the movies and the T.v. series
First up the tv series of the same name.

So prepare your selves for IT WILL BE DONE!

also Kason, your missing some of my reviews

kk which ones? ill add em in a sec

Far Cry 3, They live, Bronson, and Chernobyl diaries

The Hobbit 2:

Decent movie series and all, but after watching it I kind of feel like how I do towards Star Wars. Just let it die. I actually don't care if I see the 3rd one as I've just lost all interest in LoTR. I just don't care anymore. I've seen so much stuff with dragons/elves/dwarfs that it's just so bland feeling. I know that it's what popularized all of it but I'm still tired of seeing it. I would care more about the Hobbit if it came out around the time LoTR was done.

6/10 for being tired of generic fantasy and LoTR.

woah this is an amazing thread. I'm going to rate an album every week. Post them on fridays maybe.

Also: ty's mom has as many posts as admin. STEP IT UP TSE!

SHeeeeet! That's genuinely hilarious.

Well, to make this post not-filler, HERE'S A QUICK REVIEW CUMIN AT YA!

WARHAMMER: END TIMES - VERMINTIDE REVIEW

Are you a fan of Left 4 Dead but are absolutely tired of zombies? Have you never played Left 4 Dead and just want a fun co-op game? Well, do I have the game for you!

Vermintide is a L4D clone set in the Warhammer universe during what is known as "The End Times". The Skaven, a race of humanoid rats, have risen from the Under-Empire, and are attacking the surface. They claim to be the most superior species on the planet and believe the entire world belongs to them. But five heroes stand in their way....An axe-wielding Dwarf, A bow-shooting Elf, and Rifle using Knight, A shotgun toting...guy, and a Firestaff sniping Wizard. I probably got that wrong but it's close enough.

Only 4 people can play so it's pretty similar to Left 4 Dead in that aspect. Each class has their own special weapons that only they can use, and you can level up after completing a mission. You find more weapons the more you play the game and eventually you can upgrade them or fuse them for entirely new weapons. Ya, it's pretty fun. There are special Skaven enemies too, just like how there are special-infected in L4D. There are gunner skaven, poison throwing skaven, a Tank skaven, and Hunter skaven. Idk, I don't really have much else to say. I'm too lazy to put in more details.

If you just find weapons randomly, then what does leveling up offer?

Also; you gotta rate it outta 10 ya silly fuq.


expect an album rating/review this friday. probably one of these 3:


edit: wikipedia doesn't have a standard for album art dimensions? I'm kind of bewildered.

Kason Birdman wrote:If you just find weapons randomly, then what does leveling up offer?

Also; you gotta rate it outta 10 ya silly fuq.

You use levels to smith new weapons...I think. Idk I forget. I honestly just shat out that review.

7.7/10 's

dude 7.7 our of 10 is a pretty freaking good review.

i probably wound't grace skyward sword with so many great numbers.

Kason Birdman wrote:dude 7.7 our of 10 is a pretty freaking good review.

i probably wound't grace skyward sword with so many great numbers.

True, true. I need to fix that score actually

WARHAMMER: END TIMES - VERMINTIDE = 7.2/10 's

while The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword = 4.7/10 's

SS is honestly the worst Zelda game to date. Excluding cdi of course.

dude do you actually think vermintide is better than skyward sword? fully whole-heartedly? that would blow chunks from my dome.

Kason Birdman wrote:dude do you actually think vermintide is better than skyward sword? fully whole-heartedly? that would blow chunks from my dome.

Ooooo fuck ya. I will never ever ever play Skyward again. Nothing about the game is actually fun. Being forced to use motion controls is shit and it has the worst "overworld" I've ever seen in a Zelda game. Not a single thing about the game makes me want to play it again. Extremely bland characters, really shitty side-quests, complete dook main story, superbly forgettable soundtrack, ridiculously short dungeons, and of course, garbage motion controls.

Vermintide is a far superior game. At least it has replay value and you can play it with friends!

very cool to hear, i didn't know you felt basically the same way as me about that game

phantom hourglass > skyward
spirittracks > skyward
four swords adventures >>>>> skyward

i'll update these new rankings when i get home btw


also, are there any on previous pages that need to be added?

not that i know of

Well as promised, here's my friday album review..
I'm gonna be doing this while going through an elliptic curve tutorial, so it will probably take me a while to write. also, after im done i'll update the OP with the recent ratings.



Joyful Rebellion by K-OS
K-OS is a Canadian rapper from Toronto who dropped his first album (titled 'Exit', lol) in 2002. This entrance album received pretty decent reviews, too. Then, 2 years later in 2004, he dropped Joyful Rebellion.

The first JR track I ever heard was of course Man I Used to Be, which was the hottest single off the album and (along with the really dope music video, check it out here) it received a lot of attention and praise.

I'll break this bad boy down into 2 categories: project flow & content.

Flow
The album flows pretty well, it opens with a slight suspense build and sling shots into a sort of preachy track, in which K-OS spits some segmented and pretty empowered bars. It's a great track, and I think given the whole picture of the album the aggressive opening is fitting.
After the first track the project calms down a touch, and we are graced with two sweet succulent jazzy tracks. The first of this pairing is 'Crucial' which wears a central american Bob Marley flare. The second in the pairing is the aforementioned track, Man I Used to Be which retains the built up jazzy smooth feel but adds a turns the background mood down to something more melodramatic and self-aware.
The rest of the album, following the 3 part mood-setting intro, retains it's jazzy flare and most of the tracks are pretty nuanced instrumentally, which can be difficult. The project has great progression, it has a funky build up towards it's mid climax, 'Commandante' which is musically serene though could maybe be.. a little more powerful.
After that peak it kind of falls down a slippery slope that seems to get more and more melodramatic and introspective. This sort of slow, even sappy at times, period after the serious struggle on Commandante concludes with an explosion of a satisfying sort of sincerity. The final 3 tracks are all honestly deadly. The long, drawn-out exit track 'Papercutz' is just so satisfying (make sure you let it play out all the way to the end!) and is backs some of the strongest bars the 21st century has to offer.

There are a few songs that feel slightly out of place, mostly Neutroniks and BBoy Stance. Aside from that, the album progression is constructed quite well.

Content
I'm a little torn on the message K-OS is trying to feed us, though it is clear he has a lot he feels he needs to say.
The piece as a whole feels like a statement (or a rebellion, maybe?) against the main stream music industry and against some of the things which seem to be supplementary to modern capitalism. This opinion is introduced in the opening track, and seems to culminate itself in force once Commandante hits.
The more I listen to the album, however, the more I feel like K-OS is reflecting on himself, mainly on how being subject to the big industry life has impacted him. The feeling I'm left with after Dirty Water and Papercutz (including bonus hidden track 'The Mirror') is that he has risen from his revolution as a lone survivor. The last track really rings with a sort of spiritual wisdom, which can really come across as obnoxious or overly-preachy at times but in retrospect of the entire album is a powerful ending to the ongoing battle he has endured.

Overall, good experience, only a few hiccups. Instrumentally: fantastic and still aging well with the exception of mayb 2 tracks. Lyrically: fun and experimental, a lot of great stuff though sometimes walks dangerously close to corny.

7.8/10